come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize