sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
