i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
