You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
