508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Randomize
