that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
