i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
