I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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