I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
