Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
