I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
No subtext here. People are naked.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
