I feel like abortions should bother me more
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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