i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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