I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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