happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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