if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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