Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
