Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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