3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
