I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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