Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
