There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
