new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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