oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
