drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
