I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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