I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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