someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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