Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
