At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
