i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
