She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
