3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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