Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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