i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Alive.
So much puke
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
