Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
