everyone is single if you try hard enough
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
