His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
