she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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