Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
