What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
