why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
