I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize