Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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