the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
