he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
