I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
