Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
