I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
4 words: hood of his car
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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