i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
