We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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