Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
