Your mouth is God's brothel.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
