literally had 100 drinks last night.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
