Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
