We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
