Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize