This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
