i permit you to call me
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
