# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
