My boss' voice literally gives me gas
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
