There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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